The seven: Movies that are too long

Today’s list is seven of movies that I think were way too long! Maybe some editing would of improved the quality and success in some cases of these flicks.

Hulk
Running time: 138 minutes
What to cut: Nick Nolte. Not him entirely, but do you need to stop the movie to pit him and Eric Bana in chairs opposite one another to discuss antigovernment issues? I don’t want Bruce Banner in therapy—I want him pissed off, green, and busting up shit all over the place.

King Kong
Running time: 187 minutes
What to cut: The buildup. Part of the original film’s charm is that it takes its sweet time before things really start cooking. But in the 1930s, audiences didn’t mind sitting in theaters all day, because their only other options were standing in lines and starving.

Pearl Harbor
Running time: 183 minutes
What to cut: Nearly everything. Make this a brisk, 45-minute, painstakingly detailed account of the invasion, and I’d pop in that DVD whenever there was some time to kill between CSIs. If anyone needs to know anything more, they can fire up Wikipedia. I would also suggest keeping a few shots of Kate in there just cause she is super hot.

The Matrix Reloaded
Running time: 138 minutes
What to cut: Maybe this is harsh but how about the part right after the opening credits to the part where the credits roll?

Alexander
Running time: 220 minutes
What to cut: Just like the previous flick I would have to say pretty much chop the whole thing down to the length of a trailer. Funny, I remember seeing the trailer and thinking wow that will be a good movie. I will say this, it might be the first movie to ever make you feel like you are actually living out the timeline of the story.

The Thin Red Line
Running time: 170 minutes
What to cut: Sitting through The Thin Red Line in a movie theater actually qualifies as a tour of duty. I remember actually dozing off a few times and always waking up feeling like I did not miss a thing. So I would have to say cutting out a lot of the imagery and adding some actual story.

Heat
Running time: 171 minutes
What to cut: The personal lives. Pacino has enough to scream over without a difficult home life or a moaning Natalie Portman (wait a sec? haha) to worry about, and De Niro’s wooing of Amy Brenneman is just embarrassing for all who watch. Ashley Judd was in this flick but clearly they did not do enough to make me remember her.